waxing lyrical @ blogspot v1 - introspection.

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Saturday, September 06, 2003

I've graduated.

The ceremony was held on Wednesday at the new convention centre and it was nice catching up with friends that I've not seen for awhile, and may be seeing for the last time.

I'm happy. Of course I am. For being able to finish my course smoothly and being lucky enough to fare well, coming out with many valuable and enriching experiences. As I've said to so many people of late, polytechnic life was really one of, if not, the best times of my life.

And yet there is this huge sense of loss. As I was hugging Serene and telling her to take care of herself, I could feel this huge lump in my throat and tears threatening to fall. What if this was the last time I'd ever see her, ever hug her, ever talk to her? I know we haven't been as close since our freshmen year but that doesn't mean I'm ready to give up this friendship, not now, not ever.

This sense of loss followed me throughout the day, as I took photographs with my pals, caught up with lecturers and friends, even simply walking around the school.

I know the memories will be there, and that should be enough, but it isn't. I want to feel like I belong there forever and the realilty of it is I don't. I stopped belonging to it since May and I never will anymore.

Was this how my seniors felt as well? That moment where they graduated and looked back on the 3 years that had gone by in a flash, did they lose their sense of belonging? That warm feeling in one's heart, not very different from what one feels when one thinks of home?

And now, I have this sense of regret. For not taking enough photographs on that day. No, not of me. But of what was going on around me. So that at least, I'd have visuals to accompany me and remind me of what a great time I had in SP.

I never thought I'd fall so hard.

00:39 |

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