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waxing lyrical @ blogspot v1 - introspection.
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Monday, May 05, 2003I dreamt of Thorn last night. And though I can't remember the exact details, I vaguely recall him visiting me when I was in camp (with Neini of all people), and how happy I was seeing him. When he came to look for me in my room and check on how I was doing. That warm comforting feeling.Just like the one I had when I dreamt of him. In a sense, I hate having happy dreams. Dreams where my innermost desires are fulfilled and I feel so full of joy I want to shout it out loud. Then I wake up, and feel a deep sense of betrayal when I come back to the real world, cruelly ripped out of my perfect story. This sharp pain in my heart, to find out that it's simply a dream and nothing more. That the happiness I had is out of grasp once again. Wanting to go back to bed, so I can return to my castle in the clouds, to the happy endings which doesn't come around in real life. Dreams can be so cruel. Especially the good ones. Because they create a false sense of security, hope, and happiness, only for one to awake and have reality give you a good slap in the face. -sigh- Give me nightmares anytime. // On a separate note, I miss Thorn. I miss having a nice proper conversation about the things that matter to me in life, and to know that he totally understands what I'm going through. Even though we live such different lives and get together so rarely, I feel so close to him, like I can tell him anything and everything. I miss talking to someone who really understands. 03:08 |
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