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waxing lyrical @ blogspot v1 - introspection.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2003The nights get me down bad. When I start feeling extraordinarily alone, and all I want to do is to listen to all these songs of unrequited love and broken-hearted people which inevitably leaves me feeling worse. Not the songs with words of tenderness that lovers whisper to one another or the one with the promise of eternal love. But the songs of sorrow, the ones of unspoken words that should have been said, those which describe the pain of losing someone, or of times where everything was once perfect and idyllic yet is now gone.Nights like these make me feel so low, sometimes I think I hit rock bottom. Too little to do so my thoughts run amok. Too few people around to talk to so I feel lonely and abandoned. Too quiet that I feel like there's no one in this universe, 'cept for me, and all the darkness in this world coming after me, drowning me, killing me. I hate these nights. And yet I love it as well. For the same reasons that I hate it. Having nothing to do and feeling free like a lark. The solitude that allows me to think and not feel crowded out, having my own space to do my own things. The tranquility of the night, so quiet I can hear my own breathing and the crickets out there making their kind of music, when I feel like time has slowed to a crawl and nothing really matters anymore. With all the glistening stars in the sky winking at me, calling out to me to fly up and become one of them. These nights leave me broken and afraid, of what I am, of what I will become. Yet they also lift me up, bringing the seemingly unreachable and unattainable within reach. My heart is heavy. The soul so weary. Maybe it's time to bid the night adieu and say hello to my bed which beckons me, with promises of sweet dreams and everything else good and pure. 03:32 |
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