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waxing lyrical @ blogspot v1 - introspection.
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Saturday, April 19, 2003"I had my last lecture in SP yesterday. The significance of that didn't hit me till this afternoon when I was on my way to school.I'm graduating. In 35 days, I will have my last paper I'll ever take in SP (hopefully, I don't fail it and end up repeating the module). And to me, that'll mark the end of my poly days. Kowaii. That's Japanese for scary. 3 years gone in a flash. In the twinkle of an eye, it's gone. -sigh- I feel a sense of loss. For the time that that's passed me by, for the things I should've done in school but missed out on. And that school that I'll no longer belong to. This must be how growing up is. Continually assailed by a sense of loss. Facing a neverending onslaught of changes. 35 more days. Each minute ticking by. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. I wish there was some way I could hold on to the time slipping by. But I know there isn't. So I guess I'll just have to take snapshots of my last few days in poly, and store them in my memory, hoping they'll last for a lifetime. 35 more days." This was written on April 4. I had my last tutorial, my last lesson on Thursday. I guess this more or less marks the end of another phase in my life. 3 more trips to school for tests and exams and it'll be officially over. I'm petrified. I thought I could only be scared to THAT extent when I wrote that entry. That that was the limit. But I'm wrong. This is worse. Much much worse than it could ever be. Fuck it and damn it all to hell. 15:53 |
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